Star Wars: The Monkey Wrench
by the fox good
Summary: Long Ago, In a Galaxy Far, Far away... We who are about to die, hate writing summaries. We are still new to writing, so, please read and review. -This fic is dead. -La Volpe Divinita, with permission from The Fox God
1. Prolouge

**Mason's POV**

Is it possible for them to make ANY MORE NOISE IN THE MORNING! By the Nine, at least they finally left, now I can... fuck, I can't go back to sleep. Friday, the day where I don't have college, and yet, I still wake up at eight. I kicked off my sheets, heard the dog scamper off the bed, and I rolled off the mattress. I am not a morning person. First things first, to the toilet.

One monster shit later, I wander my way to the kitchen and grab, well, actually, everything sucks. I forgot, shopping is done tomorrow, so there is nothing to eat. I head back to my room and put on my bathrobe. Well, today is the day to go paintballing! Kenny will be taking me, well, I will be driving as he doesn't have a license; lazy bastard.

After watching several videos on YouTube, I got board. Staring at the background of my desktop, I began to question my existence. Quickly putting that thought out of my mind, and looked at the time. 8:15. I looked to the phone and thought about calling Kenny out of sheer boredom. Well, I'm sure he would understand. I picked up the phone and dialed the number.

" _I thought I told you, DON'T call me before ten. Did you forget?_ " Well, I guess I understand why he is so angry, this IS the third time after all. Oh, well, time to play ignorant, "Oh, I thought you meant before eight, my bad."

" _TEN! I SAID TEN! NOT BEFORE TEN!_ " I cringed slightly.

"Well, I'm board. So, are we going to do something before the games?"

" _No, let me go back to sleep. Do NOT call me until it is at least ten._ "

"Well, you can't go back to sleep, because look how awake you are now." I heard a groan before the line died.

"H'afrumph! Well then, if you're going to be like that... perhaps its best I take my leave. A good day to you sir. I said good day!" I said to the dead line. I play way too much Skyrim...

I dropped my phone in my pocket and wandered to my nightstand and began my routine inspection of my dagger. Rusted as usual. I then noticed something strange.

Why is the floor metal? And why was I in a restroom stall? I stared at the stall door for about a minute while my brain tried to process this new information. I decided to blame society for this as I slowed my heart rate back down to normal levels.

-Don't mind me, I'm just a divider-

 **Kenny's POV**

"TEN! I SAID TEN! NOT BEFORE TEN!".

" _Well, I'm board. So, are we going to do something before the games?_ "

"No, let me go back to sleep. Do NOT call me until it is at least ten."

" _Well, you can't go back to sleep, because look how awake you are now._ " I groaned before I hung up.

Damn bastard, waking me up at eight, whatever. I'm going back to sleep. I randomly picked up my glasses case. I wonder if I should bring this paintballing. I walked over to my dresser and prepared my US marine BDU when I noticed something strange. Why is my uniform on a toilet? I thought I put it on a chair. Looking up, I saw myself in a restroom stall. My breath caught in my chest and I felt a small panic attack come on. I felt the fight or flight instinct begin to overcome me as I looked around. Ok, calm down, Kenny. Deep breaths, deep breaths. Then, I heard the stall door open. Oh shit. My head quickly darted to the door, which was open.

There stood someone with a short military style haircut, wearing a grey uniform, "Oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't aware this was occupied."

"It's fine."

"Ok, just remember to lock it next time." The door was closed again. Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god. Deep breaths, you made it through. Ok, who the hell was that, where am I, AND WHY IS IT SO COLD! I fumbled with the 'lock' and I think I locked it. I couldn't tell. I put on the uniform I brought with me. Ok, what do I have on me? My glasses and case, my uniform, my phone, and my sandals. I am screwed... and I have to piss. May as well.

 **Authors Note** **: We are still new to writing, so we have no set schedule for updates.**

 **-The Fox God**

 **I'm here too.**

 **-La Volpe Divinita**


	2. Chapter 1

**Mason's Pov**

Well, this isn't as bad as it could be. I wonder who was talking in the stall next to me, it kind of sounded like Kenny, but it sounded, old. Well, I'm in a stall, in my pajamas, wearing a bathrobe, and carrying a rusted dagger. I looked down to what I assumed was a lock. It was some kind of high tech holographic piece on nonsense that people associate with the future. And that isn't even to mention the insane symbols on it. Not knowing how this lock works, I braced myself against the door. There was someone trying to open the door. "Es Occupado."

"Uh, sorry?" I breathed a sigh of relief, but there is no way in hell I am getting off this door. I waited until I was sure that that guy left. It was only two minutes from my count, but it felt like days. I poked my head over the top of the stall and looked around.

"...Mason? Is that you?" My head twitched in all directions for the source of the voice before settling on the left side. I saw the top of someone's head before falling forward out the stall. I got up off the floor and brushed myself off, hiding the discomfort. Was that person talking to me? Or... ok, putting that thought out of my mind.

"Hello?" I whispered. I hope I was just seeing things.

"Mason, that's you right? its me, Kenny." Was that actually? I need to test him.

"The war began over kidnapping?"

"Yes, like a hundred times." Ok, yea, only Kenny would forget why we are at war. "I still say freedom of marriage"

"Marrying your pets and plants is not freedom!" I whisper yelled.

"At least I'm not a corrupt dictatorship."

"For the last time, its not me vs you, its Gaardynia vs you! They have had some pretty crappy governments in its life."

"...What were we supposed to do again today?"

"...This happened... on my birthday. Wow, this has been really crappy birthday." The door next to me opened, and on instinct, I punched towards whoever it was before drawing my dagger.

"ITS ME ITS ME!" He said in a harsh whisper yell... basically he was talking normally. I pulled the dagger away, but didn't sheath it yet. He sighed.

 **Kenny's POV**

"Es Occupado." What the hell, was that spanish?

"Uh, sorry" And the same guy. Ok, once its clear, I should leave the stall... right? Is that a smart decision? After a while on deciding, I heard that guy leave, and saw a head pop over the stall next to me.

"Mason? Is that you?" His head twitched around for a while before falling over.

"Hello?" Yea, that sounds like him, but is it really?

"Mason, thats you right? It's me, Kenny." Please be him please be him.

"The war began over kidnapping?"

"Yes, like a hundred times. I still say freedom of marriage"

"Marrying your pets and plants is not freedom!" Yea, typical mason.

"At least I'm not a corrupt dictatorship."

"For the last time, its not me vs you, its Gaardynia vs you! They have had some pretty crappy governments in its life."

"...What were we supposed to do again today?"

"...This happened... on my birthday. Wow, this has been really crappy birthday." Yep, that's him. I slowly opened the door after unlocking it. And the first thing that I saw, was a fist that I narrowly avoided... followed by a blade. I raised my left arm to defend from the blade.

"ITS ME ITS ME!" I yelled out, hoping that it was mason. It was, and the blade was pulled away. I let go of a breath I didn't know I was holding. We were glaring at each other for a few seconds, before mason broke down laughing. "Really?" I covered his mouth to quiet him. "Are you going to laugh again?" He shook his head. I sighed and took my arm off. He was suppressing his laughter, at least it was quiet. I smiled. "Ok, do you know what's going on?"

"If I knew that, well, something would happen."

"I'm just making sure." I looked around, taking in everything. There were eight stalls, four sinks, and a really long mirror. "So, did you get a look at the guy earlier?"

"No habla ingles." I deadpanned at him. "I was that guy. Do you THINK I saw him?"

"Let me recall what I saw." After thinking through a bit, "Ok, taller than me, grey uniform, definitely military, short hair, military standard, and I can't recall anything else. So, we need to find out where the hell we are-"

"In a restroom."

"Besides the obvious-"

"One without urinals."

"..."

"All in all, this is the strangest men's restroom I've ever been in."

"It could be unisex." He stared at me before shaking his head. "Ok, we need t think of a plan. I say-" Mason shoved me back into one of the stalls and locked the door.

"SHhhhh. The door to the room just opened." Fuck. Then, I heard voices.

"So then I say, there is no-"

"Something is wrong." Oh shit.

"What is it master Jedi?" OH MY FUCKING GOD! BUDDHA AND AMATERASU! THIS IS BAD! Please realize you forgot something important. Just walk by us. No wait, just leave.

"Something with this stall." Please no. "Someone left a datapad on the floor." Oh thank god. Mason tapped me on the shoulder and pointed to the floor, and him standing on the toilet. I climbed up too. "Something else is wrong." WHY?! Looking to mason, I saw his face, it seemed to twitch between anger, surprise, and despair. "Someone didn't flush." Mason glared at me. After that, there was just normal conversation before they left.

"I flushed, it must have been the other guy."

"What other guy?"

"The one in the uniform!"

"I didn't say that." What does he? Wait, his mouth didn't move, and that didn't sound like him. Fuck.

"Open this door."

"Uh, Es Occupado." Goddamnit mason. I was twitching between mason and the door.

-I'm just a line, just a little line-

 **Mason's POV**

"Uh, Es Occupado." Don't look at me like that! Its the only thing I can do right now!

"I Am going to give you one choice, open this door, or I open it."

"Will we be safe if we open it?" Shush kenny! I then had an amazing idea, but I can't tell kenny.

 **Kenny's Pov**

"Will we be safe if we open it." I hope I can negotiate.

"We shall see." I stepped back.

"No, I need a guarantee, I don't know you. Stranger danger." I stepped back again, and hit the wall. Wait, I thought mason was behind me. I looked around and saw masons foot under the side wall into another stall. You son of a bitch! You will let me die first?! "Um, can I get a reply?" My tone was in such a way, I swear i could hear my voice squeak.

Then, a green lightsaber started cutting through the lock. "You're using the sword, not the force! What the hell man?" The lightsaber retracted and there was quiet, then the lock turned green and the door opened.

"Hi there."

"H-hello" I gave a small wave. Then, something strange happened.

"FOR SKYRIM!" He was tackled by mason.

-Please Senpai, For once, Don't notice me-

 **Mason's POV**

Ok, so. Jedi Blocking my way out, he's alone, I need to do something.

"Hi there" So he hasn't noticed me yet. I channeled all my time of sneaking around quietly and made my way to the sinks.

"H-hello" Damnit kenny, I can't just leave you to possibly die. Pro con, pro con, pro con. Shit, more pros than cons. Even though one of the cons is death... I made my decision, I channeled my inner Nord, and shouted with all my voice,

"FOR SKYRIM!" And I tackled the Jedi. I managed to get a few punches in while he was stunned but he eventually force pushed me into one of the sinks, which broke the mirror. "Ow. Kenny, NOW!" The Jedi looked to kenny, The fool. And for the second time in a minute, I once more channeled my inner Nord, and managed to tackle him again, "FOR SKYRIM!" He was faster this time ad pushed me into the ceiling this time whilst being held there.

"Are you done yet?" I nodded. "And what about you?"

 **Kenny's POV**

"And what about you?" I raised my hands into a surrender position. "Good."


	3. Chapter 2

**Kenny's POV**

We've been sitting here for hours, well, I've been sitting here for hours; mason was on the floor, doing, something. What an ineffective tactic. They wouldn't even give me a glass of water. So, how to get out of this situation.

"Why?" I looked down to mason.

"What's wrong?"

"Why did you stay there?"

"...He had his lightsaber."

"And his attention on me. You could have gotten away when I tackled him."

"He would have grabbed my leg."

"Yes, he would have grabbed your leg; WHILE I WAS ON TOP OF HIM!" no need to be so loud.

"He has the force."

"He was distracted."

"He whacked you twice."

"There was at least ten seconds of shock."

"And get shot by anyone outside of the door?"

"Now we are in the 'hypothetical territory', there was no one out the door."

"Communicator."

"You could have done SOMETHING! Even snuck to another stall, ANYTHING!"

"And extended any possible suffering?"

"...If I can't rely on you to escape when you have the chance, then I'm going to have to leave you there next time." I think I'm finished with this conversation.

"Want an icepack?" He grunted and returned to, whatever it was he was doing. The door open and someone walked in... it was the jedi. Fucking hell. Why did it have to be him? Well, it could be worse. And then a taller jedi walked in and sat down. WHY ME!

"So, who are you?" I am staying quiet.

 **"Zu'u los Alduin, diistkiin do bormah! Zok sahrot do naan ko faal Lein! Daar wo dreh ni qiilaan fen kos du! Hin sil fen nahkip dii bahlok!"** (1) Goddamnit mason. The jedi seemed confused, good, because so am I.

"Master, I think we need a translator droid."

"Did you listen, padawan? I don't recognize that language. Though, perhaps we cannot be too sure." He looked to me, "What did he say?"

"He said his name is Alduin... then something ridiculous."

 **"Fuck hi, hi pahlokaal prick!"** (2)

"And he obviously cursed me." Wait, I'm supposed to be quiet, SHIT!

"Well, you two stay here, I shall return with a translator droid, Obi-Wan, stay here and try to get any more information." For some amount of time, me and Obi-Wan were in a staring contest with me clapping my hands randomly.

 **"Strin Vok! Hi Los Wahl Zey Zos Naariv Wey Zu'u Nalkun Los!"** (3)

~Ignoring, ignooooring~

Yeah, that's right, you sit there. And I will watch you. Never mind the fact that you are here to interrogate us, I am going to watch the fuck out of you. I WILL WIN THIS. and, as if mason could read my mind, god I hope he can't.

"JOHN CENA!"

"Goddamnit! Again!" The door opened and Qui-gon walked in.

"Did I miss anything?" I continued my staring contest.

"Greetings, I am C-3PO Series protocol droid. How may I be of service?" Qui-Gon then sat down next to Obi-Wan and continued his questioning.

"So, how did you two manage to get aboard this ship?"

 **"Zu'u los drehlaan, Hi los nau hin meyar."** (4)

"...That's strange. I have been programmed with over one million languages, and I cannot recognize this one." This isn't good... for me. They looked at me. Do I break contact with Obi-Wan, or do I ignore them?

"Have you been staring at him the whole time, my young padawon?" YES! He broke off! I won! Unfortunately, in my victory, I did not hear his response. "Is that so? No real force connection. A void in the force, strange indeed. Obi-Wan, go get a blood sample for a Midi-cholian test. Both of them."

"Yes, master." looking away, I saw mason had sat on his knees, was he praying? Meditating? Kneeling? Well, I guess that last one was kind of true, but what the hell are you doing, boy?

"So, how did you get on this ship?"

"Sergeant Tran, Serial number 13033979."

"That is good to know, but it does not answer my question."

"Sergeant Tran, Serial number 13033979."

"Yes. You said that. And it still doesn't answer my question."

 **"Hi dreh ni orin mindok un tonged, dreh hi? Grik pahlok, wah kuz fah hinmaar faan do dovah."** (5)

Why do I think mason just said something ridiculous.

"Um, right. Perhaps I am not clear. How did you get on my ship?"

"FTL teleportation incident." The loudest facepalm was heard from mason.

 _"Attention, we have arrived at our destination, all hands, prepare for landing."_

Wait? Qui-Gon? Obi-Wan? Ship? Landing? Movie? ONE?! ...We need to get off RIGHT NOW! "I have a bad feeling about this"

"Well, If you'll excuse me, I have something that needs attending to. I shall return when it is finished."

"I request to be next to an escape pod."

"Not going to happen"

"Wait, please let us go with you!"

"...Why?"

"my instincts are screaming at me."

"Well-"

"I thought jedi listen to when _the force_ say something." Good idea.

"My companion had a limited vocabulary."

"Hmmm, very well. I see no reason not to, as neither of you pose any real threat." Ouch, my pride.

"Only if we are attacked." He looked at me strangely. He then reached under the table and pulled out some kind of blue energy handcuffs before putting them on us, and herded us out.

This can only go so well.

 **Authors note**

 **(1) I am Alduin, firstborn of akatosh. Most mighty of any in the World! Those who do not bow will be devoured. Your soul will feed my hunger.**

 **(2) Fuck you, you arrogant prick! (Did we really need a translation for this one?)**

 **(3) SHUT UP! YOU ARE MAKE ME MORE CRAZY THAN I ALREADY AM!**

 **(4) I'm done, you're on your own.**

 **(5) You do not even know our tounge, do you? Such arrogance, to take for yourself the name of dovah.**


	4. Chapter 3

**Mason's POV**

Kenny. I wasn't sure if I wanted to kiss him, punch him, or both. At least he got us off the soon-to-be wreck of the ship. On the other hand, we are now in a station crawling with droids. "You always bring me to such nice places."

"I know what the ladies like." The Jedi looked at us strangely.

"Greeting, I am TC 14 at your service. This way please." We were lead down some hallway by the silver protocol droid. I nudged Kenny and put the rim of my shirt over my nose and mouth. He gave a slight nod, emphasis on slight. I mean, come on, you could have made it a little more noticeable.

"We are greatly honored by your visit ambassadors. Make yourselves comfortable, my master will be with you shortly." I didn't even notice we went into a room until the droid said it.

"I have a bad feeling about this" I heard Obi-Wan say. Qui-Gon looked at Kenny with a bemused expression, and a roll of the eyes from Kenny.

"I don't sense anything."

"Yeah, you defiantly don't sense us" I wasn't sure if Kenny meant to say that out loud, or if he is just stupid. A glance from the two Jedi shut him up though.

"It's not about the mission master, its something... elsewhere."

"Danger?" what? I was curious.

"No, Illusive." Well what the hell does that mean Obi?

"Now that your anxiety has come, keep your concentration here and now where it belongs." Typical Jedi.

"But master Yoda said I should be mindful of the future."

"Not that we expect at the moment, be mindful of the living force-" a snicker from myself and Kenny, "Young padawon."

"Yes master." I wonder what Kenny is thinking, 'stupid sentient bacteria' Yep, that sounds like him. The Jedi walked over to the window, while I sat down. Kenny walked over with them, hell will freeze over if I go over there. "How do you think this trade viceroy will deal with the chancellors demands?" Poorly.

"These trade federation types are cowards, the negotiations will be over shortly."

"Wait, for us or them?"

"What do you mean?"

"Cowards don't always attack from the front."

"You're over thinking this." I waved Kenny to just drop it. They won't listen.

After a while I shifted the cloak I was given to my lap as the Jedi sat down. "Is it in their nature to make us wait this long?" Obi-wan asked. Kenny gave me a questioning glance, and I nodded.

"You know, I sense an unusual amount of fear for something as trivial as this trade dispute." I didn't even notice the silver droid walking in, that means the metaphorical shit is about to hit the literal fan. The droid offered us some kind of something. I refused it whereas Kenny accepted it. There was a loud explosion heard through god knows how many walls. The Jedi instantly leaped up, lightsabers drawn. Kenny leaped right behind Qui-gon, the bloody coward. I leaped over against a wall, facing the door.

At that moment a gas began leaking into the room. I wrapped the cloak around my face several times before holding it there. Its not the best defense, but I will survive long enough. I looked over to see Kenny miming me. "Dioxygen" Shit. The door opened a little bit later. I don't remember why though, regardless, I took a position by the door. The silver droid ran out and I heard a battle droid speak. Not good. The Jedi leaped out, and I waited, breathing slowly. I couldn't see Kenny, as this cloud, which should have been clear, was blocking my sight. when the sound of fighting started to move away, I ran out, picked up a blaster off the ground and ran after the Jedi, with Kenny right behind me.

We got to a three way intersection and I took position at one of the corners. Behind me, I could hear Kenny's asthma kicking in. I wish I could help.

"Obi-wan, do something!" I looked to see Kenny holding up his cuffs, I did the same. Obi took some time from his droid massacre to cut our cuffs, nearly taking off our hands in the process.

I shot a droid that was coming up behind everyone, and I missed. I blame the amount of people in the way. I was surprised, the red flash was the only real indication that the weapon discharged. Kenny was hiding behind the wall and mouthed to me 'just my luck'. I fired at one, and managed to hit this one in the arm, but it still kept coming.

I then heard rolling.

Kenny and I looked at each other with the same face, we both knew what this meant. "Master destroyers!"

"Droidicas!" Kenny and I shot at them while they were still rolling. We missed most of the shots, but we did land a couple before their shield went up. All of us ran down another long hallway, with me mostly dragging Kenny along.

The Jedi climbed into a ventilation shaft, which we were completely oblivious too. "Great, just great, now we are alone on this station."

"Ship, mason, ship. It is a cargo SHIP."

"Is this really the time?"

"I don't want you to look stupid when you die."

"Well fuck you too."

"No thank yo-o-ou, Two way split!"

"I'm going this way." I ran off to the left. I swear Kenny, if I look back and you aren't there. Sparing a look back, I saw he wasn't. Great, first the Jedi and now this, I am going to beat all of them to within an inch of their lives... AND THEIR IS STILL A DESTROYER ON MY TAIL! I quickly turned around and opened fire on the rolling death before it turned back on its shield. And running time. I quickly hid around a corner and hoped this worked. The droid just rolled on passed me down the hallway, and I snuck back the way I came from before taking off again.

That's it, I hate everything.

 **Kenny's POV**

I was still running and hoping I could find a good corner, after a while of running, I had decided to **pull a mason** ™(1) and just tackle the droid while its rolling. When I found said corner, I prepared myself. This timing had to be perfect. I heard the rolling and braced myself. It came around the corner, and I tackled it.

I quickly sat on it and started firing at its head. "FUCK YOU Du Stück Scheiße! Mẹ mày たわごと! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I finally stopped when the gun ran out of ammo. Opps. After a thirty second breather, I took out my phone and took a selfie with the droid... I'm going to show this to mason, he'll kill me, but totally worth it. I noticed a few steaks of liquid pool up on my chest, and a darkened spot on my jacket. Am I bleeding? I think I am. Shit. I decided to continue in what I had hoped was the way forward.

 **Mason's POV**

I haven't ran this much since I was training for my black belt, I'm just glad my muscle memory hasn't failed me yet. After a while, I came back upon the three-way-intersection, surprisingly, there wasn't any droids here. Deciding to take a chance, I snuck onto the bridge. I found something to hide behind, I'm not sure what it was, but I was behind it. I was behind the fuck out of it. Lets see what's going on here. "Sir, a transmission from the planet" Said by some random alien. So, this is what is happening, I wonder what would happen if I yelled out what has happened.

"Its queen Amidala herself." Oh, not good. Staying hidden would be for the best now.

"At last, we are getting results. Again, you come before us, your highness."

"Do not be pleased with what I have to say, viceroy. Your trade blockade of our planet has ended." Oh shit, their looking this way. I hid a bit farther in.

"I was not aware of such failure."

"I am aware the chancellors ambassadors are with you now. And that you have been commanded to reach settlement."

"I know nothing of any ambassadors. You must be mistaken."

"Beware viceroy, the federation has gone too far this time." BORING!

"We would never do anything without the approval of the senate. You assume too much."

"We will see." Then the picture faded away to a grey wall.

"She's right, the senate would never-"

"Its too late now!"

"You think she'd expect an attack?"

"I don't know but we must move quickly to disable all communications there." This just got interesting. I moved forward a little and grabbed what I was hiding behind out of instinct.

"WHAT IS THIS!" My head snapped up to see what was a living creature. I was hiding behind a person. Really? Not cool life. Not. Cool. I quickly got up and shot the few battle droids in the room. My accuracy has gotten far better. I didn't destroy all of them, but they shouldn't much of a problem.

"Who is that?" Well, may as well, never know when I'll get another chance at this.

"Now you. You can call me Ann Marie. But only if you're partial to being flayed alive and having an angry immortal skip rope with your entrails. If not... Then call me Sheogorath, Daedric Prince of Madness. Charmed." A good lot of them look very confused.

"Well, your highness, prepare to die." Viceroy, you have just made it to the top of my list. I took off running back in the direction I ran from the destroyer, all the while zigging, but not zagging. Zagging is for losers. A lot of blasters were being fired at me, I'm just glad I was faster than them. At the two-way split, I went right.

 **Kenny's POV**

I continued walking forward, lugging around my worthless gun, and the remains of a droidica. I have been walking for, what twenty minutes? before I walked through a door. and into a large hangerrrrrrrrr. Uh-oh, not good. I quickly moved to hide behind some boxes, crates? What the hell were these things? "Well, fancy meeting you here?" I looked to the voice

"I killed a droidica." Hi Obi-wan.

"So I see. I also see blood."

"Yea, its not scabbing that well."

"When we get to Coruscant or Naboo, we are getting you fixed."

"I want a raise."

"You don't work for us."

"I want weapons, armor, and credits."

"You STILL don't work for us. In fact, you are still technically our prisoner."

"You can hook me up with these thing, can't you?"

"Prisoners don't get paid."

"...Then I want food and medical care."

"Fine."

(1) Tackling a superior opponent; reference to Mason tackling Obi-wan.


	5. Chapter 4

**Mason's POV**

Right turn, left turn, left turn, right turn, left turn, right turn, and I'm lost. Where did you get to Kenny, he could be anywhere on this station.

 _"ITS A SHIP!"_

What the hell? Eh, probably just another symptom of my insanity. Another right turn, this is hopeless! I continued my running... and then I tripped. Even landing properly, if I didn't know better, I would have said I broke something. Looking back to what tripped me, I saw a few scraps of metal, a LOT of singe marks on the ground, and scratch marks on the floor leading down the hallway. Found you, Kenny is the only person in existence, that would waste energy dragging a dead droid.

I got up and dusted myself off; and limped off, following the scratch marks. I didn't get very far.

"Hey, you! Stop right there!" Fuck! Why couldn't I have a cardboard box! I ducked behind one of the side support... doors? What the hell is this thing? "Fire!" Red lasers were flung past my cover. Why couldn't this be any easier? I ducked low, and blind fired around the corner until the blaster ran out of shots. Now what? Alright, time to **Pull a Kenny** ™(1).

"Stop shooting, I surrender!" I yelled that out several times before the shots stopped.

"Uh, do we take prisoners?"

"I think so, should we ask the viceroy?"

"Rodger, Rodger." Ok, I've had enough of this.

"WHO THE HELL IS RODGER!"

"Hey! Quiet you." While I waited, I noticed a ventilation shaft on the ceiling, just out of reach. I wonder, could I reach that? No, probably not. "Hey! Who are you, anyway?"

"I... am Hermaeus Mora! Daedric prince of Knowledge, Knower of the unknown, and keeper of... secrets..."

 _"Wait, your highness, why did you change your name?"_ The viceroy said over the intercom. I will kill you slowly.

"Very well, viceroy. I surrender to you."

 _"A wise decision."_ You will suffer. I threw my useless gun at the direction of the voice. I hope Kenny is having an easier time than me.

 **Kenny's POV**

It was very cramped in this transport ship.

"This is what you get for bringing a dead droid with you."

"Totally worth it."

"Quiet, the both of you, we are landing soon."

"I have a bad feeling about this."

"Enough, go with Obi-wan, he will keep you safe until we reach Coruscant."

"Wait, Coruscant? You're still going to take me there? For what?"

"Originally, you stowed away on our ship and interfered with our mission, but now it is about your Midi-chlorian count, if you have any, that is." Qui-gon was a dick.

 **Mason's POV**

Battle droids, are not fast. Thank the Nine for that. I wonder, is this my end? Well, Kenny is safe, I hope; so I won't die in vain. I wonder, did my nonsense actually go through with him? I mean, he did address me like royalty. Interesting. Out of the frying pan, and into the low heat fire over a long period.

"Your highness, it is nice to see you again." I wanted to wipe that smug face off his face... wait, that's not right. English! Why do you fail me!

 **Viceroy's POV**

Ah, so he understands the situation he is in. His distressed face gives me much satisfaction.

 **Mason's POV**

...And another thing, why do you always fail me right when- Why does the Viceroy look even more smug? Hate. "Well, take a seat, you will be in here for a while."

"Baka."

 **Kenny's POV**

"GODAMNIT OBI-WAN! I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOESED TO PROTECT ME!"

"Against a droid speeder? What do you want me to do!"

"USE THE FORCE DUMBASS!" I am really regretting carrying this droid. while running a believe I spotted Qui-gon up ahead with something I didn't have the time nor available brain space to process right now. "DO SOMETHING!" Te speeder riding droid was gaining ground, quickly. I ran past Qui-gon and dropped on the ground, I couldn't see what he dd, but I heard an explosion.

"Yousa saved mai again."

"What's this?"

"A Gungan." they all looked at me getting up.

"A local, come on, we need to get out of here before more droids come."

"More? More did you say? Please excuse me, but the safest place around here is Gungan City. It's where I grew up, its a hidden city." We all stopped running. Maybe I should have taken a left at the intersection after all.

"City?"

"Uh-huh."

"Could you take us there?"

"uhh, on second though, no, not really, no."

"No?"

"It's Embarrassing, I'm afraid I've been banished. I've forgotten, the prosecutor will do terrible things to me. Horibbbbbble things to me, if he see's me going back there."

"you hear that?"

"Yeah"

"That is the sound of a thousand terrible things heading this way."

"If they find us, they will crush us-"

"Quite literally" I interrupted Obi, who glared at me.

"And blast us into oblivion."

"Ah. Yousa point is well seen. Dis way, hurry." Jar-jar, an interesting creature, but so annoying.

 **Mason's POV** (*)

"Can I have food?" I was given some kind of bar of, something.

"So, tell me a little about yourself."

 **"Hi los pahlokaal firok tol Zu'u fen krii diist grozein Zu'u ofaal.** (2) I sorry. **Tinvaak** , talk is occasion hard. I listen better"

"I see. So, where are you from?"

"Earth."

"And that is, where?"

"I not sure, I went to sleep, and woke up elsewhere. **Gahrot** , taken away." My hands were all over the place as I weaved my web of half-truths.

"I see, and your planet's history?"

"Long lost, poor technology. Pew, pew, boom, lot **kein** : metal, food, **yuld**. Big problems." I do not like that look in his eye. His is the eye of greed.

"What if I was to, unite your world and help your people?" Fucker.

"Would be good, would be grateful, but need speak with brother, he **In** , leader, know many."

"And would that have been the other one you were with?"

" **Geh** " I nodded. "would need his **orlaavend**."

"Very well, If you will excuse me, I need to make a call." Huh, that worked. I AM A GOD! And sudden headache.

"Drink, please?"

 **Kenny's POV**

The Gungan City encounter differed very little from the movie. It would appear that I had no affect in this particular area. I was pointed and stared at, however. One thing is for sure, I will never go underwater in a small vehicle EVER again. We eventually surfaced near a city.

"Disa lovely" I half-threw myself over the side.

"Oh god, Oh sweet fresh air. Never again, with ANY of you. Especially YOU." I said, turning my glare at Obi-wan.

The city was a maze. All I could do was follow my Jedi escorts and hope for the best. I am not sure why I was still carrying the droidica, but I've come this far, I'm not giving it up. After a while of sneaking, We arrived to a covered walkway, suspended over the streets... then the Jedi jumped off it, as well as Jar-jar. What? Did you think I would jump down too? Of course not, I would break my legs! HELL NO.

"Hey, Qui-gon, could I get a blaster... and a lift down?" After a quizzical look, he complied and we all ran around a corner. I was completely ignoring this conversation, deciding instead to take a breathing break. Then, almost as quickly as it began, we were on the move again.

On the bright side, my endurance is getting better. Does anyone want to tell me WHY WE ARE JUST WALKING UP TO A BUNCH OF DROIDS!? I instantly ran onto the ship as soon as the door opened... and passed out in a chair. uhhhh, its a ship mason...

 **Mason's POV** (**)

"Can I go too?"

"No"

"I would like to see how go, see if you good ally"

"Your highness, I assure you, we would be a very _beneficial_ ally."

"Still, is good **ov** , trust make. Want see you **zahkron** , you tactic?" I am glad that Kenny taught me how to perfect **The Poker Face** ™(3).

"But your highness, it could be dangerous."

"I trust, you **jaaril** , you save, no, protect?" He sighed, I win.

"Very well, your highness. This way." Then my 'escorts' replied for me.

"Rodger, Rodger." I internally sighed I was then escorted to the transport with the viceroy... and the other guy.

After a while we landed and were led off the ship.

"Viceroy, we have captured the queen." said some random droid commander.

"Ah, victory." What. A. Dick. I admit, I was very uncomfortable. There was no way of backing out of this. At least on the station I had a way out, but now.

 _"ITS A FUCKING SHIP!"_

Seriously, what the hell? Where is this voice coming from! There was a lot of nonsense political talk, before I started listening in again.

"How do you plan on explaining this invasion to the senate?"

"The Queen and I will sign a treaty that will authorize my occupation here." I gave a thumbs up and nodded when the viceroy looked at me. "I have assurance that it will be ratified by the senate." I wonder how.

"I will not cooperate." So, no jolly cooperation. Aww.

"Now now, your highness. Implying the suffering of your people will help you see our point of view." A droid walked up to us. "Commander,"

"yes sir"

"process them."

"Captain, take them to camp 4"

"Yes sir" They were lead away.

"How do you like my methods, your highness?" He turned to me.

"Very good, smart. Very generous. Less blood, save **yuld**."

"What does that last word mean exactly?"

"Umm, gold, spend..."

"Currency?"

" **Geh** , yes." You and your stupid smug face.

 **Kenny's POV**

 **Snore** , mason is an idiot, **snore** , anime, **snore** , its a fucking ship.

I was having such a nice dream when the shaking ship woke me. I am pissed. I felt the droidica under my hand, glad they haven't taken it away, now, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?

 **(1) "I surrender!" A reference to Kenny surrendering in unwinnable situations.**

 **(2)** **You are an arrogant bastard that I will kill the first chance I get.**

 **(*) The translations will commence as followed: Talk, stolen, war, currency, master, yes, permission**

 **(3) Patent protected, satisfaction guaranteed or your money back.**

 **(**)The translations will commence as followed: Trust, tactic, protect, currency, yes**

 **We had a lot of trouble understanding the words from, well, everyone. If there are any inconsistencies, we apologize.**

 **-la volpe divinita**

 **You know, here's a little behind the scenes: when I was in JROTC, I was a sergeant, I also used my old high school ID. And the Marine BDU is woodland, I got it at a surplus store.**

 **-the fox good**

 **(It was supposed to be god, but I made a mistake)**

 **You have messed up now.**

 **-la volpe divinita**


	6. Chapter 5

**Kenny's POV**

I sat back down and secured myself in my chair, bending my droid over my lap to hold me down. I blame everyone, especially you... timothy! No, but seriously, I blame the two Jedi on board. And palpatine. A large rumble shook me off my seat. I might have been hearing things, but I swear I heard beeping. I swear, is Michael Bay God? Lots of explosions and no plotline... surprisingly, no lens flares... yet. Ok, NOW there is a beeping. Ok, stay calm, you know how this turns out, you will survive.

 **Mason's POV**

Well, I cannot complain about these accommodations, oh wait, I can. "Could you two wait outside?"

"No can do, your highness."

"Rodger, Rodger." **The Poker Face** ™ is strong with me. Well, it could be worse, I could have been gender bent. FUCK YOU MURPHY! YOU CAN'T DO SHIT TO ME ABOUT THAT! Though seriously, could I throw a sheet over these two or something? It's, really fucking creepy having them always staring at me.

"Can I get some paper and pen?" They handed me a datapad. I am not amused. Ok, Murphy, you had your fun, leave me alone. "No, pen" I gave the appropriate hand movements. They pointed back to the datapad. So Murphy isn't done yet. Joy.

Hmmm, 2+2=5, how to prove the truth...

 **Kenny's POV**

I need some Bacta. And food. and new clothes. and armor. and weapons. and money. and water. and complete universal domination. and the bathroom. and the other things that I am too busy to think of. I am so board. I got up and headed to the door, which opened and a red cloaked women was in my face. I stepped to the side, tipped my hat and, "M'lady". I took a few steps out before turning back around, "Excuse me, do you know where I can get medical attention?"

"Let me clean up this droid, then I can help you."

"Thank you." I sat back down and waited. I wonder if I will ever see Earth again. I could do without the four out of seven billion nuisances, but Earth, I miss it.

"I'm done." I slowly came out of my stupor and looked around. How the hell did I manage to ignore Jar-Jar? Next to him, I saw padme standing there with a first aid, kit? I'm going to assume it is.

"Thank you." I unbuttoned my jacket and took it off, reopening a couple of the wounds. I am not sure how people in movies managed to do this kind of thing, reopening wounds is really painful... especially if there are a lot of them, no matter how small.

The process was relatively quick, she checked and cleaned the wounds, then applied a slab of Bacta- WHY DOES THIS BURN SO MUCH! Then patched up the remaining cuts and handed me a towel. "Thank you for your time."

"So, how did this happen?" I pointed at the dead droid,

"I tackled that."

"... You... tackled it?"

"... Pretty much." I think I deserve a medal.

 **Mason's POV**

I was looking out the window in my room, sitting in a chair on the other end of the room; hell will freeze over before I go over there, and I listened to the Phantom of the Opera Overture on my phone. Best, soundtrack, EVER.

I was currently in the middle of doing a very basic dance to the 14th loop of the song, when the viceroy came in. I froze in the middle of a pose, " **Geh**?" I quickly paused the music.

He shook his head, "So, are the accommodation to your liking, your highness?"

" **Pruzah, pruzah,** very good. **vosulvekaal** , feel strange" I say while pointing at the droids, "Is necessary?"

"For your safety, your highness." I nodded. 

**Kenny's POV**

We landed. "Come along, you are going too." Pushy.

"Can we at least find something to eat?"

"Later." Dick. I was then lead to some room in which Obi-wan was doing, something.

"The hyperdrive generator is gone, master. We will need a new one."

"that will complicate things, be wary. I sense a disturbance in the force."

"I feel it also, master. It is similar to when they showed up." wait, is he talking about me?

"I doubt there is a connection, regardless, don't let them send any transmissions."

"Yes master."

"You, follow me." fucking hell.

I hate the desert. Is there any real reason I'm going too? And I'm not allowed to stay in the _cool_ _crisp_ air of the ship. This better be a damn good feeling Qui-gon. I am wearing sandals, so screw you.

"Wait. The queen orders you to take her hand maiden with you." I turned around to see the source of the voice, and saw the bodyguard guy. Who is this guy, anyway?

"No more orders from her highness today, captain." Ah, that's who. "The spaceport is not going to be pleasant."

"The queen, wishes, it. She is curious about the plan." Qui-gon let out a huff.

"this is not a good idea. Stay close to me" And, back to walking in the hot, sandy wasteland... did I mention it was hot? Because it is.

And now I'm uncomfortable. After a while of walking, we finally made it. And now I really wanted to be in the ship. I shifted the dead droid and tried to keep up. "We must move fast(?) for the most part, some indigenous tribes, and scavengers. The few spaceports like these are havens for those that wish to hide."

"Like us."

"Definitely!" They, once more, looked at me strangely.

"Never mind him, he does that." Screw you.

"Disa very, very bad." I moved a little bit faster to stay with them.

"We'll try one of the smaller businesses." Obviously.

We walked inside, and I couldn't understand a word the owner said.

"We're looking for parts for a J-type 327 nubium."

"Ah yes, nubium." Wait, he, I, we, forget it. "We have lots of them." He then yelled something at a doorway. Aaaand queue he who walks on skies.

"My droid has a readout on what we need."

"I hope you don't mean the dead one," He flew over to me "though I could buy it off you if you'd like." ugg, that breath.

"Not now."

"So, let me take you out back." Wait, you better mean literally, "Let us find what you need." Qui-gon gave me a look, from which I promptly shook my head. He then walked out.

Wait, what's going on? "Its a ship!" I said under my breath. What is causing this? I blame mason.  
"Are you an angel?" future blackmail time!

"What?"

"An angel, I heard the deep-space pirates talk about them. They are the most beautiful creatures in the universe." Dawwwww. "They live on the moons of Iago, I think."

"Your a funny little boy. How do you know so much?" I stopped listening after that and instead focused on keeping Jar-jar from breaking anything. I still kept the smile.

after a while Qui-gon walked back in, rather unhappy, "we're leaving." I quickly turned to follow him, ignoring the people behind me.

I was quite uncomfortable under all these stares. I shifted the droid to the ground and sat on it while waiting.

"...Obi-Wan, you're sure there isn't anything of value left on

board?"

 _"A few containers of supplies, the Queen's wardrobe, maybe._

 _Not enough for you to barter with. Not in the amounts you're talking_

 _about."_

"All right. Another solution will present itself. I'll check back." Jar-jar grabbed Qui-Gon's arm arm.

"Noah gain...da beings hereabouts cawazy. Wesa be robbed un

crunched."

"Not likely. We have nothing of value, that's our problem."

"Even my droid wouldn't be worth enough for what we need." I said, looking at Qui-gon.

"No, it wouldn't. Not even if we tried the Hutt in charge here, just not enough."

"I could always try gambling?"

"Absolutely not, I am not letting you go out here alone, the council needs to know about you."

After a while of walking, and Jar-jar almost getting turned to a pulp, and the boy Anakin saving him. I faded back into the conversation after my daydream turn distasteful. "A storms comin' Ani," that's not good. Sand storm, one of the worst. "Better get home quick." she smiles and shoos Anakin away. What a nice old lady. And just like that, I faded back into my daydreams, and left my body on autopilot.

 **Viceroy POV**

Well, even if he is not a prince, as he very well may or may not be; one thing that I AM sure of, is that he comes from a primitive world. I just need to continue playing him to my favor. Now what about the other one...

 **Mason's POV**

I sat on my bed, and was using my shirt and some oil I got from the droids to clean my dagger.

So, free time. time specifically dedicated to being free. A time to sit back, relax, reflect on my deeds and event that have passed, my family... alone with me and my thoughts. I felt a drop of liquid drip down my cheek.

NOPE! Very busy, got stuff to do, need to clean this dagger! No need to think on memories. Only the future to look forward to!

 **Kenny's POV**

Why me. The cloak I was given was wrapped around my mouth and my glasses were covering my eyes, and yet it still wasn't enough for the unrelenting storm. Of all the things it could be, it had to be sand. The child walker of skies led us into a house, that looked to be made of sandstone and mud, and rock? what is this thing? Not that I have time to think about it, as the storm started getting worse. "Mom, mom I'm home." Ah, this sounds familiar.

"Oh, disa cozy" I grabbed Jar-jars ear and whispered to him,

"Don't. Break. _Anything_. Capiche?" he nodded and I let go.

"these are my fiends." For now.

"I am Qui-gon Jin."

"I'm building a droid, wanna see?" Ah, young love.

"Your son was kind enough to offer us shelter." Too, many, people, talking. I chose to sit on my droid, in a corner and went right back to daydreaming.

 **? POV**

"Tatooine is sparsely populated. If the trace is correct, then I will find them quickly, master."

"Move against the Jedi first, you will then have no difficulty in taking the queen to Naboo to sign the treaty."

"At last we will be able to reveal ourselves to the Jedi. At last we will have revenge."

"You have been well trained, my young apprentice. They will be no match for you. But be warned, There was a, disturbance of titanic proportions in the force; followed by a vacuum, a void even. If you can discover what is causing this, then bring it to me as quickly as you can. But do NOT let it jeopardize your mission. We will have plenty of time for this."

 **Kenny's POV**

Small table. I wonder if-

"BOOM!" Huh, oh, its just lil' Ani. I am so harassing him later with that.

"I can't believe there is still slavery in the galaxy." so Naive.

"There are thing that are slavery in all but name." I said with a passive glance at the Jedi. I wonder what Mason would be thinking right now, _"Indoctrination is the word of the day"_. Yep, that sounds about right.

"You sound like you speak from experience, what did you say your name was again?"

"I never told you." change the subject, change the subject, change the subject, change the subject.

"Well, it isn't polite to ignore our hosts." Damn you Qui-gon!

"I go by, Galland. Patton. Tran. Galland Patton Tran." That seemed to satisfy them, and the newly added person to the jackass list, Qui-gon Jin. I noticed Jar-jar become frogman with an apple. I kicked him and he started hopping around holding his shin. From the corner of my eye, I saw Qui-gon give me a disapproving look.

"has anyone ever seen a pod race?" I have. Episode 1. A dangerous sport with little safety precautions. "You've seen one before?" Did I just say that out loud? "Yep." I nodded. "I'm the only human that can do it." I just focused on my food. "Your a Jedi Knight, aren't you?"

"What makes you say that?"

"I saw your laser sword, only Jedi carry that." Plasma sword to be correct.

"Perhaps I killed a Jedi and took it." I snickered.

"I don't think so, no one can kill a Jedi." My snickering grew slightly louder, only padme turned to look though.

"I wish that were so."

"I had a dream I was a Jedi, I came back here and freed all the slaves." Ah, if only he did. "Have you come to free us?"

"He would, but the hutts are too powerful right now. Perhaps in the future."

"We're on our way to coruscant, the central system in the republic on a very important mission."

"How did you end up out here?"

"Our ship was damaged and we need to repair it." I dozed out of the conversation for the night.

 **Mason's POV**

Not even a clock on this bloody station.

 _"ITS A FUCKING SHIP! GET IT RIGHT!"_

Seriously, I have had enough of this nonsense. "You, droid."

"Yes, your highness?"

"I want see medical droid."

"For what reason, your highness?"

"Hearing voices."

"Are we aloud to do that? the Viceroy said to stay here."

"Corporal, go inform the viceroy, I will take him to the medbay."

"Rodger, Rodger."

We walked for, maybe an hour, before we reached a room, which looked no different that all the other rooms. "In here." I nodded, and walked inside.

"How may I be of service?"

"I am hearing voices where there are none."

"You may want to talk to a psychiatric droid then. Would you like any immunizations, as I see you have no standard."

"Yes." the immunization wasn't as painful as it usually is, though, I felt quite... off, after. "I think I need to lie down, other droid later." Even with the battle droid next to me, I was only barely moving, what is wrong with me? with the door only meters away, I fell over.

"Your highness, are you ok?" I couldn't reply, nor move. something is wrong. "Your highness... Medical droid!" I felt the droids hands try to pick me up, and my eyes finally closed, taking me into the abyss of unconsciousness.


	7. Chapter 6

**Kenny's POV**

"Are you sure about this? Trusting our fate to a boy we hardly trust?" Why couldn't I stay on the ship? "The queen would not approve." Of course she doesn't, your the queen... dumbasses. Kill me now.

"Queen doesn't need to know." She knows.

"Well I don't approve." I walked inside with the Jedi to get out of the heat.

"The boy says you want to sponsor him in the race. How can you do this? Not on republic credits I hope."

"My ship will be the entree fee." Huh.

"Huhhh" No comment. "Not bad, not bad. Huh, Nubian huh."

"Its in good order" Qui-gon said whilst the shop owner, I'm going to call him _waspman_ , continued to make, odd noises. "Except for the parts I need."

"What would the boy ride? He smashed up my pod in the last race. It will be a long time to fix it."

"I won one, in a game with a bunch of drunken idiots." I interrupted.

"Hey now, those drunken idiots better not have been friends of mine. Heh, so, you supply the pod, and entree fee, I supply the boy; We split the winnings, 50:50."

"If its going to be 50:50, then I suppose YOU supply the entree fee. If we win, you keep all the winnings, minus the cost of the parts I need; and if we lose, you keep my ship. Either way, you win." I wanted to bang my head into the nearby wall, but I stopped myself in case I caused any damages to the wall.

"Huhhhhhh, deal."

 _"What if this plan fails, master? We could be stuck here a very long time."_

"Its too dangerous to call for help. A ship without a power supply isn't going anywhere. And, there's something about this boy."

 _"Is he like the others, master?"_

"No, almost the opposite actually." He turned around to see me standing there. "How long have you been standing there?"

"long enough. If this plan fails, can I punch you?"

"You can try." There were some footsteps, and I took this as my queue to leave.

"Pardon me, ma'am." I said as I went back inside. Who knows what Anakin is doing to my droid.

Later that night; From the shadow of a doorway, "Infection, he says." The Jedi quickly turned in my direction. "I don't know what you are doing, but there is little chance for any infection."

"Is there any reason you choose to hide in the shadow?" I'm scared of the light. I just shrugged. "Come here, I would like to check yours as well." I shrugged again, walked over, and stuck out my right arm. After a prick, which pain was so low, I barely detected any, He finished.

"If your looking for something, perhaps a full body scan would be better?"

"Go to sleep, I'll tell you the results later."

"I can't, its too early."

"Early? Its almost midnight."

"Its still early, give me a few more hours." He lifted his hand, and I suddenly felt tired... eh, still too early. "Was this supposed to do something?"

"First the shopkeeper and now you..." I turned around, and walked inside, and once more, sat on my droid. I fell asleep a few hours later.

 **Qui-Gon POV**

20,000. Incredible, I wonder if this means what I think it does. "And what about the other one?"

 _"...Nothing, master. Is this even possible? Are you sure you took his blood? or have these machines suddenly gone faulty."_ Hmm, faulty machines, that could explain a lot. But perhaps he was right, a full body scan may be best.

 **Kenny's POV**

I faded back into the conversation when I heard someone shout. "Hey, boy, over here. We want to talk to you." Shit. I kept walking. "Hey, you daft or something, with the droid. Come here." Double shit. Qui-gon seemed too concerned with the shopkeeper to hear it. I tapped R2 and had him follow me.

There were a group of five various aliens. I recognized one as a Twi'lek, two as human, and the other two, I bet mason could name them. "Nice droid, you sellin'?"

"Which one?"

"...Both?" Yeaaah, no.

"Can't sell this one." I said while tapping R2.

"And the other?"

"Depends."

"On?"

"What do you want it for? Do you know what this is?"

"Oh, of course I know what it is. A droidica, destroyer type. Rather damaged." He said as one of the humans started circling me. "Not messing with the wrong people, are ya kid?"

"You tell me, it was shooting at me."

"I see, it seems quite heavy, we could take it off your hands."

"And how much might that be, to lighten my hands and heavy my pockets?" They laughed, rather loudly. I am not feeling comfortable right now. I just now noticed the two humans were behind me.

"How about keeping your fingers?" Uhhhh.

"Well, I don't value my fingers much, anything else?" I noticed one of them place their hand? or whatever it was, just above its blaster.

"We ain't going to ask again."

"Ask for what again?" I noticed them all group up again. "You folks aren't harassing my friend here, are you?" I felt a hand on my shoulder. They all started looking away. "I thought not." I felt the grip of the hand tighten, "Come. You don't want to do business with pirates." Well, ok. I followed the mysterious person for a small walk away. From what I saw, he was wearing a black, something, I would say it was a coat, but I don't think it was. And he was wearing a black, long brimmed hat. "Now, what were you doing with those types?"

"I thought they were bounty hunters, and who the hell would start a gunfight here?"

"The Black Sun."

"Let me guess, very powerful pirate group?"

"More than you know. Ah, here we are." I noticed us walking back up to Qui-gon. "Excuse me, but I think you lost something." The Jedi looked at me, and gave me a disapproving look. Would you stop doing that?

"Thank you, I was unaware." The strange man tipped his hat and walked away.

"Later." I said as Qui-gon opened his mouth.

"back to business, no pod is worth two slaves."

"The pod for the boy, and for the mother, if we lose, I will become your slave." I could have sworn I heard padme gasp, and I definitely heard Jar-jar fall over.

"Not now Galland-"

"Deal!"

"Now wait-"

"Can't a deals a deal, right boy?" Stop calling me boy! I may be young, but come on! I'm eighteen! Now Qui-gon was outright glaring at me.

"...Fine. Lets go."

"Don't tell the boy." I said to no one in particular.

At the race; When Anakin's mother left, I walked up and put a hand on his shoulder. "Anakin, you will win this, and take out that arrogant ba-, anyway, you will win this. Now take my smile, and put it on your face." With that, I walked back to where our seats were, and sat down next to Qui-gon.

"I know."

"You understand what will happen if we lose."

"I know."

"You know I don't approve."

"Why do you think I'm doing this?"

"No one, would approve."

"I don't have much going for me. I lost everything."

"But your life was-"

"I know what your going to say, I say it a lot. Just trust me, for once." He looked back, no happier, but still. Then padme came, this will be painful. "I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know!"

"Then why did you do it?"

"Because." My face was a mixture of every emotion capable of being produced by the human body, "I don't have much going for me anymore."

"But you-"

"Don't say life, Qui-gon gave me enough with that already. And I'm a hypocrite too." She let out a huff.

"There is no reasoning with any of you!" She stomped to her seat. Child.

 **Viceroy POV**

Hmm, so, his body was under stress. Add that to the vaccinations, I understand his unconsciousness. This will not be good for business. On the bright side, I know he is from at least an isolated planet, these are very common vaccines. I wonder just how far from home he is.

 **Kenny's POV**

After the race, and my _small_ cheering bout, and going back down to the readying bay; I had finally changed the future! Now, both Shmi and Anakin survive! But seriously, I get it, he won, that is enough celebration... Its getting awkward. "Hey Anakin, I won your mother. Here you go." I say as I gave her a small shove towards him.

 **Watto's POV**

Another hundred lost, and I shooed him away. How could he lose? I then heard footsteps from behind me and I turned to see that Jedi there. "You. You swindled me. You knew the boy would win, you knew it! I lost everything." Damn Jedi.

"Whenever you gamble, my friend; eventually you lose. Bring the parts to the main hangar, I'll come by your shop latter to pick up the two."

"You can't have them. They weren't fair bets."

"Would you like to discuss it with the Hutts?"

"Take them. Just go." Damn that Jedi, and the other one.

 **Mason's POV**

I could feel myself breathing, and an alarm blaring. I swear I could see a red light flashing despite my eyes being closed. I felt like I was being moved, and then I drifted back to sleep.


End file.
